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My older son has a rough time taking direction well (you can read about why here). That being said, we’ve had to come up with some creative ways to get around this. One of the best ways we’ve found so far is making a list of the tasks he needs to accomplish. And it’s not just one list but three: morning, afterschool, and evening. I’ll get into the details of each below. Here’s some of the other tactics we use at home to help our son be successful.
Each list has the daily tasks that need to get done at that time of day written down under the corresponding time frame. So brushing teeth is under both the morning and evening columns, while cleaning out backpack is only in the afterschool column. In addition to this, I put a sort of open category in the afterschool section for an extra chore. Its important to me that my kids participate in household duties that are more than just their self-care duties. I want them to have realistic expectations of what life is like both on their own and in a family of their own or with roommates.
The additional chore is something of my choosing and is typically stuff he’s done many times and something he can confidently do solo. If it’s ever a new chore, I will do it with him a few times to help him feel comfortable. Then I yeet him to the wind because he is one who will learn best if he solves problems on his own with supervision and support as he needs it, but without interference.
Now without further ado here’s the lists in chronological order
- Get dressed
- Take pill
- Comb/Style Hair
- Brush Teeth
- Wash Face
- Fill Water Bottle
- Gather Backpack, Lunch, & Water Bottle
- Eat Breakfast if not already done so
- Shoes & Jacket
- AFTER SCHOOL
- Clean Out Car
- Hang Jacket/Shoes Away
- Empty Backpack
- Clean Lunch Bag
- Wash Hands
- Take Out Compost & Recycle
- Help Mom With Chores
- Make Lunch
- Clothes For Tomorrow
- Take Pill
- Brush Teeth
- Wash Face/Chapstick
- Go Potty
- Songs/Stories & Bedtime
As you can see these are really just daily living self care sort of tasks. But my son will NOT do them unless prompted and WILL throw a fit when told to do them one by one. So now all we have to say is “Go do your list” and he does. At first it was an adjustment but in less than a week he was going to do some of the tasks without me even having to say anything. It helps him (and me) stay on a routine too, which is really important for most kids but especially those who are aneurotypical.
My son is almost 7 and is able to read well. But prior to this we did a chart with hand drawn pictures, cut half the page in wide strips that could be folded over, and Velcro tabs to create an interactive type of chart that could be flapped open or closed depending on if the task was completed in the AM or the PM. If all the tabs were closed, it meant he had done everything he needed to in the AM. If they were all open it meant the same but for the PM. This worked great when he was in preschool and even into kindergarten. I also labeled all the pictures so he would learn what the words meant.
Having these lists has made our household a whole lot calmer. My son doesn’t feel like I nag at him and I don’t feel like he’s ignoring me anymore (at least when it comes to this). It’s allowed us to regain the peace in our relationship that we were so craving.
What are some of the things you use for your kiddo to help them?